Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Storytelling


Telling a good story is hard to do.  So often, humans get "inventive" and find a story where there isn't one.  Digestible, compelling, dramatic, the more bullshit the better...  In my raft guiding days, stories were important; good stories got you good tips and a Welshman by the name of Dirty Tim was our resident master tale slinger.  The more tall tales Tim slung, the more money he made while the rest of us guides kicked dirt beside the river and watched the procession of guests slap another finski into Dirty Tim's dirty palm.  Anyway, I don't love the modern media approach to storytelling and the fact that if you want to share your experiences with people, you need a "story."  In the timeless words of Homer Simpson "It's just a bunch of stuff that happened."  So here is some of the stuff that happened this spring.

Colombia:  Coffee anyone?  Locals brew coffee more like tea and imbibe this Tinto all day long.

Climbing on the Mesa de los Santos.  Thanks to Netflix, we expected a stressful Cartel style experience but the vibe could not have been more tranquillo.


We went to the opposite side of the Mesa and flew into Canyon de Chicamocha, the Earth's second largest Canyon.

     Next up, the mysterious Mavecure Hills.  Cosmique, barely begins to describe this place.




                              You could really feel the Buena Onda from the hill people.



                                                          Petroglyphs are my favorite!!!

                                      Flying from mythical domes is a close second...


                             Climbing onto giant a waffle iron from the jungle ranks third.


I've never loved fishing, but I love to eat the fish.  This Barracuda-type thing, literally jumped into our canoe and to defend myself (?!) I delivered a fatal blow with my paddle.  Sorry buddy... I never got to taste this little guy, he was in the soup and down the hatch before we got home.  Fishing, is likely how story telling began.

Or was it from mountain climbing?




                           
                              Colombia is quite a place:  Bogota street art is next level!

                 
                          After Colombia was South Africa.  This photo tells the whole story.


 Climbing with my European friends was not like being on a holiday, rest day activities included: packing for the next mish, ferrying a load to the base of the wall or more commonly, climbing.



                              The crew halfway up the wall at a commodious bivi



                        We opened a new route on a big cliff made of Quartzite, the stone of Kings.


Rock quality, check!  After sending this pitch, Seppi yelled down:  "Paul, I feel naa-sing"  Slighlty confused, I though my friend had morphed into the achetypal German nihilist.  What he really was trying to convey was that he got threshold pumped.


This is Hilton Davies, he's the nicest man in Capetown, a South African climbing pioneer with more psyche than I had at 18, and more good stories than most will accrue in a lifetime.



                  Most of this country is made of Quartzite but at Paarl Rocks it's pure Granite.



This zone has never been in vogue compared to say, Rocklands, but no instagram = no worries, you'll have this enchanted place to yourself.   As you enjoy the incredible freeclimbing here, remember, Nelson Mandela served several years of his 27 year prison term in the nearby village, just for being a brother.  Slightly tougher than the Dawn Wall I imagine.



                  Never miss a chance to fly from a granite dome...Thank you Mama Africa!






Thursday, 23 February 2017

ICE!!!!!



Jas Ammerlaan and Seba De La Rosa making the FA of the Spirit Bear icewall

There is nothing so pleasant as ice climbing at sea level, so it comes as no surprise that my backyard is where I enjoy winter climbing  the most.   Thirty years have passed since a true Icepocalypse thwarted the village of Squamish.  Back then, it was straight shafts, leather boots and bearded men only.  These days at least some of the sisters have joined in on the fun.


                                  Katia Voyeur making the second ascent of "Depends -a- lot falls"





There were First Ascents o' plenty:  Jia makes the signature move on the ephemeral and somewhat inappropriate "Gropper"






"Squamish Groomjob" pumpy as can be!

This beauty pillar, "Eagle Eyes" was spotted by Jia during one of many highway 99 scope missions

I didn't have to go far to spy this Squamish uber classic, visible from my deck, "Two minutes for hooking" is more fun than Hockey Night in Canada and delivers excitement until the buzzer sounds.


I jerseyed up with Tony Mac and Willy Stan for a repeat of this Boyd/Flett gem before the Coastal Zamboni finished it off two days later.  The final pitch went down with the sun and I heard a few rare grunts from the lungs of Tony as he battled up the final steep Medusa of Ice.

      We avoided the penalty box and enjoyed the superbe finish as the alpenglow kissed us goodnight (Will Stanhope Photo)




      Visible outside Tony Richardson's living room window, this line on the Chief beckoned like a yodeler from the Krummholz



        Jason K like a thief in the night, sneaking off Broadway ledge via some thin dribbles.


           Pitch 1 of the Ultimate Ultimate Everything: Perfect neve and sticks (Tony Richardson Photo)

                              Jason seconding the Chamonix caliber goulottes (Jia Condon Photo)

                                        Tony STOKED on the crux pitch (Jia Condon Photo)



It's always a gift when your heroes become your partners.  After all these years Jia still wants some.



Hard to beat this position above the Fjord



Thank you Squamish and thank you my friends!  What a season!!!